In the heart of Camden and the Southern Highlands, there’s a growing realisation about the prevalence of the people-pleasing phenomenon. Amidst the praises of agreeability, individuals often sideline their intrinsic needs. This blog, rooted in modern therapeutic practices, uncovers the layers of people-pleasing and presents robust strategies, from individual therapy to couples therapy, for rekindling one’s true self.
Understanding People-Pleasing:
People-pleasing is not just about saying ‘yes’. It’s an intricate dance of seeking approval, shirking conflicts, and ensuring others’ happiness, often at a cost to oneself. Factors such as low self-worth, trepidation of rejection, or the yearn for external validation might propel this behaviour, leading to emotional strains and friction in relationships.
Counselling Strategies to Navigate People-Pleasing:
1. Self-Awareness and Mindfulness:
Mindfulness is pivotal in enhancing self-awareness. A study by Brown & Ryan (2003) found that mindfulness promotes self-regulated behaviour and enhanced emotional well-being.
Activity: Dedicate 10 minutes daily to mindfulness meditation. Focus on your breath, acknowledging thoughts without judgment.
2. Assertiveness Training:
Assertive communication fosters genuine interactions. Research, such as that by Ames & Flynn (2007), highlights the importance of assertiveness in personal and professional settings.
Activity: Practice assertive responses in daily conversations. Start with minor disagreements and work your way up.
3. Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT):
CBT is instrumental in reframing maladaptive thought patterns. Hofmann et al. (2012) showed its effectiveness in addressing various behavioural challenges, including people-pleasing tendencies.
Activity: Reflect on a recent event where you felt the urge to please. Dissect the underlying belief and assess its validity.
4. Self-Compassion Practices:
Embracing self-compassion can alleviate the constant need to please. Neff & Germer (2013) emphasised the link between self-compassion and psychological well-being.
Activity: In moments of self-criticism, jot down words of encouragement you’d offer to a friend.
Deep Dive Resources: Eager to delve deeper into therapy in Camden?
- “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brené Brown.
- “Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.
Emerging from people-pleasing is liberating. Rooted in the therapeutic expanse of Camden and Southern Highlands, these strategies are gateways to genuine interactions. Your essence, emotions, and sentiments are invaluable. Celebrate your unadulterated self!
References
Ames, D. R., & Flynn, F. J. (2007). What breaks a leader: The curvilinear relation between assertiveness and leadership. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92(2), 307-324. https://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.1037/0022-3514.92.2.307
Brown, K. W., & Ryan, R. M. (2003). The benefits of being present: Mindfulness and its role in psychological well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(4), 822-848. https://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.1037/0022-3514.84.4.822
Cloud, H., & Townsend, J. (2002). Boundaries: When to say yes, how to say no to take control of your life. Zondervan.
Hofmann, S. G., Asnaani, A., Vonk, I. J., Sawyer, A. T., & Fang, A. (2012). The efficacy of cognitive behavioral therapy: A review of meta-analyses. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 36(5), 427-440. https://doi.org/10.1007%2Fs10608-012-9476-1
Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the mindful self‐compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28-44. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.21923
