Recently, I found myself engrossed in the latest ‘Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse’ movie, and its preceding installment ‘Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse’. It may seem like a detour from my usual conversations on therapy and couples therapy in Camden and Southern Highlands, but stay with me. I’ve uncovered a fascinating parallel between these superhero tales and the world of narrative therapy. (Quick heads up – spoilers lie ahead, so bookmark this read for later if you haven’t caught these movies yet).
Being a longstanding comic book fan, especially of Spider-Man and the X-Men, I found the central theme of these films – “What does it mean to be Spider-Man?” – strikingly relevant to narrative therapy, specifically around identity and our personal narratives.
The films introduce us to various ‘Spider-people’ from different universes, each unique in appearance and character, yet bound by the famous dictum, “With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility”. Among them is Miles Morales, a young person of colour bitten by a radioactive spider, much like Spider-Man. However, his universe already hosts a Spider-Man, adding a layer of intrigue to his story.
The ‘canon event’ here, the radioactive spider bite, sets Miles on his path, but also presents a series of challenges he must navigate. These challenges aren’t just about becoming Spider-Man, but also about crafting his unique identity within this role. This struggle reflects the challenges many of us face in our personal narratives, particularly in the context of couples therapy, when we must balance our individual identities with our roles as partners.
In narrative therapy in Camden and Southern Highlands, we examine these ‘canon events’, the pivotal moments that shape our identities. They can trigger profound changes, or introduce new roles in our lives, much like the radioactive spider bite in the Spider-Man narrative. But it’s vital to remember that we’re not defined by these canon events, or by a dominant plotline.
Miles Morales carves his own Spider-Man persona that coexists with his personal identity. Similarly, in narrative therapy, we can shape and reshape our narratives, integrating our canon events without letting them overshadow our entire story. We can always uncover alternate plots in our stories, exploring different interpretations of our moods, relationships, distress, and trauma, offering fresh perspectives.
In therapy, and especially couples therapy, we often encounter dominant plots such as “I am no good at this”, “I always screw up my relationships”, or “I don’t deserve love”. It’s my role to encourage clients to consider alternative plots, to define and understand their experiences in new ways. This exploration can reveal the immense power that stories hold in shaping our self-perception.
It was once told to me, “we are the architects of our reality”, a sentiment that has always resonated with me. While significant events in our lives may influence our narratives, they are not the entirety of our stories.
So, take charge of your story, don’t feel confined by what you or others perceive your narrative to be. Whether it’s in personal development or in couples therapy, in Camden or Southern Highlands, remember – the power to shape your narrative is in your hands.