Why do you think some relationships last while others don’t? In couples therapy, I get to see exactly what answers this question. Today I am going to talk about the type of couples therapy I use and how it might be the right thing for you and your relationship.
The Gottman Method for Couples Therapy was invented by John and Julie Gottman, who were interested in observing what makes love last and what are the key signs of a healthy relationship. Through decades of research, they developed a model of couples therapy that offers effective and useful strategies to navigate things like conflict, communication and intimacy. In fact, research from Gottman and Silver (1999) shows that the Gottman Method resulted in a significant improvement for 70% of couples surveyed.
What makes the Gottman Method so effective? The model revolves around the “Sound Relationship House”, a concept designed to highlight the key components of building and maintaining a healthy relationship. Some levels of the sound relationship house include: trust, commitment and managing conflict.
When I meet with a couple for the first time, I conduct a thorough assessment. I am looking at their relationship history, encourage disclosure of strengths and challenges and I am continually evaluating the suitability of the Gottman Method for their circumstances.
The assessment phase is important because not only do I meet with both partners, I also conduct individual sessions too. I want to understand their relationship narrative and history. If I observe that there may be factors that would not make Gottman therapy suitable (e.g. ongoing affairs, characterological domestic violence), I ensure that both partners are supported and safe and that the best outcome is discussed with them.
If the Gottman Method is the way forward, I create a personalised and specific treatment plan and suggest that I meet with a couple on average between 15-20 sessions. Once treatment commences, I work with both partners to improve their communication, better understand each other, process betrayals, enhancing intimacy and building friendship. During these sessions, I teach each partner to practice interventions and exercises and encourage what is practiced in session to be put out in the real world.
Fast forward to 15-20 sessions in, and we’ll evaluate your progress. Ultimately, my job is to make myself obsolete, empowering you and your partner to take the reins on nurturing your relationship.
Whether you’re in Camden, the Southern Highlands, or beyond (thanks to the magic of Zoom), there’s no better time than now to invest in your relationship. I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation for you and your partner to get started.
So, are you ready to break through the barriers and foster a deeper connection with your partner? Reach out today, and let’s begin this journey together!
Reference: Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. Crown Publishers.
