One of my favourite bands in recent times is Idles. They’re a rock band from Bristol in England. They’re very punk in sound and philosophy, and their lyrics tend to comment on progressive issues like wealth distribution, toxic masculinity and immigration. Not only do they sound great, but their songs also have a lot of meaning. I had the pleasure of seeing them live last year, and whilst these old bones tend to avoid moshpits nowadays, I had a blast being up at the front with friends and family. Their ability to weave profound messages about everyday life into their music resonates deeply with my approach to therapy, and in my counselling practice in Camden, we explore the extraordinary in the ordinary.
There are so many songs I could use to talk about today, but the one that stands out the most is A Hymn. It’s a track from their 2020 album Ultra Mono, effectively a lockdown release. It resonates with me because it tells disparate stories about everyday life in the contemporary Western world. The song begins with a simple statement, “I wanna be loved, everybody does.” Then, throughout the song, lead singer Joe Talbot talks about various things that may occur in our everyday lives. “I lost ten pounds for the wedding”, “Janine held the flag with white knuckles”, and so many other lines highlight what can sometimes be seen as mundane and trivial activities. But there is an inherent beauty in talking about the mundane. Like the song keeps repeating, “I wanna be loved, everybody does”, we are all looking for those special moments. We are looking for connection, we are looking for meaning, mostly what we are looking for is to be loved.
So you might be wondering why this is useful or even something that should be discussed in a counselling blog? It’s pretty simple: that yearning for connection, that search for love. Life can be pretty challenging at times, and we can often get lost in the day-to-day, logistical side of things that we sometimes lose sight of what’s really important. Perhaps with the way we live our lives now, there is so much power in finding beauty in the mundane that these small things understate just how wonderful and beautiful life can be. Almost worthy of singing a song about in admiration or praise. A hymn, if you will.
The exciting thing about this, and what makes me love couples counselling so much, is that almost everything we do involves relationships. The relationships we have with our partners, family, society, world and most importantly, ourselves. I see that desire for love come up in couples therapy and individual therapy, and part of my job is to highlight that there is a lot of beauty and appreciation out there already; we sometimes lose sight of it.
In therapy, be it couples counselling or individual therapy, we often work on recognising and appreciating these everyday moments. I use several therapeutic techniques to help my clients find beauty in the mundane and strengthen their relationships. For instance:
- Mindfulness Exercises: These practices encourage clients to be fully present in the moment, appreciating the small details of their daily lives. Simple activities like mindful walking or mindful eating can transform routine tasks into opportunities for gratitude and joy.
- Gratitude Journalling: I often recommend keeping a gratitude journal where clients can write down three things they are thankful for daily. This practice can shift focus from what’s lacking to the abundance present in everyday life.
- Positive Reflection: At the end of each day, reflecting on a positive interaction or experience can help clients recognise the love and connection in their lives, even in the most ordinary moments.
- Couples Exercises: For those in relationships, I suggest activities like sharing one good thing about their day with each other or expressing appreciation for small acts of kindness. This can deepen their connection and help them see the extraordinary in the ordinary.
These techniques are just a few ways we can embrace the message of ‘A Hymn’ in our lives. By finding beauty in the every day and recognising the love surrounding us, we can enrich our experiences and relationships.
So the next time you’re doing something that seems dull, routine or mundane, take a moment to notice what you have in front of you and what other people might be doing. Not to compare but to reinforce the idea that we ultimately want to be loved.
You can always seek additional support to explore this further. I would love to hear your story. In fact come and visit me in Camden!
What are the mundane moments in your life that, upon reflection, are filled with beauty and love?